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June
30th Sarah is home and very tired and even
more beautiful . It is so good to have her home! Yea! She is settling into
her little "cottage" as she calls her room. There is so much in
her eyes I can tell that she has seen. Life. Something to be lived and shared
experienced and travel is so good for the soul. But a place to call home
or a refuge to rest and prepare for the next adventure is what is missing
from many traveler's lives. I am glad we have a haven for Sarah. It is nice
to have some time with just Andie, she and I. I am very, very glad. Before
Sarah arrived Andie and I had a few days with just the two of us and it was
like a vacation in itself.
June
29 What an incredible day we had yesterday with the
Columbia Winery Wine Club. We went by bus to Red Willow Vineyard outside
of Yakima, Jesse and Diana hosting the ride over. Andie and I were entertained
by Dan and Gary, who were sitting behind us. We sampled some wonderful wines
and learned a lot about how much goes into making a good bottle of wine.
On the way back Andie talked me into taking out my guitar and we did sing-along
songs. I had to move from the front to the middle so people could hear to
sing. It was a lot like surfing while playing guitar and my legs are really
sore today. I loved that I could play a new song I wrote that is called "Caribbean
Islands" and have people singing the chorus with me. We visited with
the friends we made on the last event on the Spirit of Washington Dinner
Train, Blu and Jason. We all went to the When Pigs Fly party up in Arlington
after that. I played about a forty minute set with Mr. Right Now. Andie and
Blu danced out in front of the stage. Good Fun. Much more fun in the future.
Watch for pictures. Jason and I talked about creating an unofficial Wine
Club web page, possibly called the Columbia Wine Club Drinker's Guild, so
we can immediately post info and pictures. I have posted pictures from the
concert on Saturday on the home, band, photos and schedule pages that were
shot by Jason Copeland. Great stuff!
Tomorrow
Sarah comes home. I am so excited to see her. I talked to her today and I
can tell she has grown a lot from her travels. I get the feeling she will
head back to Japan for an even longer stay next time. For now I so long to
see her lovely face.
June 27,2003
I am in angry land right now. I am thinking about all the
wisdom in the lyrics of so many of my songs but I am still angry. I cannot
totally define it, although it has a lot to do with the young teen who lives
in our home. It is a hard thing as one remembers, through the fog, those
early years and the angst and thrill of it all. I feel captive for the first
time in many, many years. It is not my favorite feeling and it has lead to
dark places in the past. I know I have good people praying for me at this
time and I need it. I am unable to articulate my feelings because they involve
the darker side of emotion and I feel explosive so I keep to myself and I
keep quiet. I went for a drive last night and ended up at Mike's house and
the Mr. Right Now band was rehearsing and imagine my surprise when I heard
them singing one of my songs. I ended up staying and playing for hours and
I felt much better for it but when I went home it all came back. My brother
David had good words and prayers for me today as I shared my feelings. It's
real to feel, right? But this is an emotional time I long to be done. I am
very excited on the other hand about Sarah's return on Monday. I know it
will take her awhile to acclimate but I am looking forward to opening that
wine I have saved and hearing of her tales and travels. As to the other,
I have to remind myself that this too shall pass. Greg
June 24-Life! It is a roller coaster at times, like the weather in Washington.
It changes by the minute. I got a call from Joules yesterday and it was an
encouragement call when I was pretty down. Another reminder of the power
of good in what we do. It is so good when someone knows what to say. Andie
does that all the time. I spent a few days dubbing Wildcrafted, the first
recording I heard of Joules, to CD. It is a great album, full of life and
so much of the spirit I feel when we are on Lopez Island. The gift of music
is so wonderful, whether I am listening or playing I could not imagine life
without music. So I arose this morning to another day singing away as I drove
and thanking God for the kindness of friends and the gift of song.
June
23, 2003 I am at a loss for words, ha
ha. One thing I am never and that is at a loss for words. I think our lives
were meant for living and learning to love and experience joy, to learn empathy
and compassion. I think our true families don't necessarily have anything
to do with paper or bloodlines. They are bonds we build with people in our
lives. I think many lives are wasted pouring them into relationships and
situations that are like a black hole that sucks the life and energy from
us and keeps us from doing what we love and were meant to do. I also believe
we are without a clue sometimes as to how much good can come from simple
acts of kindness. Lives are saved or changed by some thing we say or do.
It is like George Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life. I believe we are all a
part of the whole family and we each add something that the world would sorely
miss were we not here. I thank all of you who continue to live, to breath,
to love and to laugh and keep on going. I am thankful for those of you who
have shared how my gift of music has touched your lives, I will keep on till
I am done.
June 17 New day dawning. I am
here in Seattle thinking of changes. I feel it in my bones that it is time
to make a change. I have been doing this same gig for 6 years and I know
it is time to move on. I am the tortoise though, the great feet dragger.
Andie told me last night, " You don't like change, but it is time."
She is right, as she usually is. I open my heart to the possibilities before
me and open my mind to change.
I received an encouraging e-mail from Joules. It made me smile. I so look
forward to the Garlic Festival each year and seeing Freedom, Joules and the
many friends we made and continue to make each year. Freedom called me on
Father's day and made my heart glad. He is so full of love and I am so thankful
for him and his music. Sarah is coming home the end of this month and that
is a joy I long to embrace . It will be good to bask in the warmth of her
lovely face.
The creative juices are flowing in my head for the first time since I fell
at work and conked it. I was wondering if I would ever feel that flow again
and though it is now only just the stirring, I can feel the tide of creativity
is on the rise.
June
15 Father's Day. Happy
Father's Day to all dads out there, especially mine. Fathers are an important
part of all our lives starting at home and going all the way to heaven. It
is a great privilege and honor to have. I wish we were taught things like
fatherhood in school and how to build and keep healthy family relationships,
how to make and keep commitments. I sure could have used that information
as I was going through life causing damage along the way to which I was totally
oblivious. I know now, however and it brings some sadness to my soul. Yet
I am grateful for all I have experienced and the love I have known. I would
really only change the heartaches I have caused, I would not change the time
I shared with people in my life, only the mistakes I made that caused pain.
It is a new day each time we wake up and a chance to start all over again
and let the people you know and love just how much they mean to you. I love
all the people who call me Papa and I am thankful for all they teach me and
how they love me even in my many short comings. I am glad I am a dad.
June
9 Wow it has been busy. We got three
raised garden boxes built and hauled 6 yards of topsoil via wheel barrow
to fill them. Andie is so happy playing in the dirt and planting her flowers
and blue berries. It makes me happy to see her smile from simple pleasures.
Thanks to Tom for the lumber to build the boxes. They do look like they were
built by a songwriter. It has been quite a work out and next comes the green
house. I hope to have that done in a week or two.
I heard from Freedom. He called to tell me Josh is in Arizona so I am passing
that on to anyone who cares.
I had a great rehearsal with Papa Murat. I will be sending a CD to Garlic
Festival this week in hopes of getting a concert slot. This version of Murat
is going to be called Island Rock. Lonnie really puts a rock flavor to the
tunes and so I say Let's Do It!
It is getting closer to the time when Sarah is coming home, I love you Sarah
Maria. We are trying to get the cologne smell out of the back room but not
having much luck. I am going to try painting the room next and shampooing
the carpet. Wah hoo.
June
3rd I have a brief break
in my Independent Medical Exam. IME is a term used to describe a modern form
of legalized torture in which doctors, subsidized by the state, set out to
disprove injuries to patients. An interesting twist to the process occurred
at my IME two years ago. I said a prayer before the exam that the doctors
would find the reason for my pain. One of the doctors said "That is
not our job." I said, "None the less, I am praying
you will find the reason for this terrible pain in my back." To disprove
my claim, an MRI was ordered and it showed that when I fell, I broke a vertebrae
in my back at the exact spot where my pain complaints were originating. How
that must have flustered that doctor. God is the ultimate physician and He
does answer prayers. The psychologist here is very good and very objective.
His assistant was friendly prior to beginning the test and not robotic like
the last test administrator I had.. The staff at the front desk is very friendly
and supportive. As to the rest, well, in the words of Thumper's dad, "If
you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
June
1st Got a message on the answering machine inquiring where
Josh might be. He and his whereabouts are a total mystery to me. Got him
a ticket to go to California in December. I heard he came back but never
heard from him again. He is a different cookie. I told my dad on the phone
this weekend that I thought he did a lot better as a father than I think
I did. The children who seemed to have faired the best in life were the ones
that spent the least time with me with the exception of Chani. Of course,
like every generation, I can't comprehend a lot of the life styles. Body
piercing and tattoos. The world moves on. We pass through time but time doesn't
really change. We do. Seasons come and go and seemingly faster as we age.
I hope Josh is okay, but I don't know. But like Robert Frost said,
Life goes on.
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